I Hate Everything

Seriously though, I'm every where today. UP then Down, distracted then focus, happy then sad, sexy then ugly. I'm just one big mess. I don't really know what to do. Its why I haven't really wrote anything. Over the last few weeks I have been sick, got a concussion, got a guinea pig (:D!), and all sorts of other stuff. So this week, I'm just gonna update all you all on the adoption over the last few weeks because I am clearly not sane right now.

So, a couple weeks ago, I found out Katie and Greg had moved. A big surprise to me! I was pissed, 1/4 of the reason because this violates our legal contract, but since they moved like two blocks away from their old house, I didn't really care. 3/4 of the reason because I had sent their christmas presents to their old address. I went to the post office last week and they told me that who ever was at that house, took the package and signed for it and stuff. Greg called the new tennants at the old house and they swear they didnt get a package. Liars
-____-

So I re-bought everything and I will give it to them at our next visit. I'm super bummed I had to re-buy everything, but I cant just let Jude have no christmas present! He's too cute not to get anything. :P

Speaking of which, our next visit will be in March some time. My dad has let me use the family beach house for my birthday (I'll be 21 in February), but the house is being used on my birthday, so I will be using it one weekend in March. I invited Katie, Greg, and Jude to stay with me while I'm down there. They'll probably hang out for a day or so, and I couldn't be more excited.

Other than that, nothing really else to report. Victor seems more involved in wanting to know more about Jude and enjoying looking at pictures of him. I'm not really sure if its a phase or maybe Victor is having some emotional issues with the adoption and I just don't know about them yet. Whatever the reason, I'm happy he's more involved and worried he going through something he isn't telling me.

Until next time followers

The Playlist: I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz

Ok, so I just got this song like one day ago. I didn't really listen to it, but I like Jason Mraz a lot so I knew I would like this song. I just listened to it like a half an hour ago in the car, and (I shit you not) I was almost in tears. I was trying so hard not to cry because I was on my way to see Victor for the first time in a month and I didn't want him to see me like that.

So I held it together, but Oh My Goodness this song reminded me so much of the adoption! It reminded me of my feels during the adoption, my feelings now, and how much I wonder what kind of relationship Jude and I will have in the future. Its just like....Wow.

Its a love song some of the parts don't really apply, but overall its one of my new favorite songs. 

"I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up