Monday, May 21, 2012

Friday, May 18, 2012

College....decisions, decisions, decisions

Well, here I am staring my future right in the face and I have no flippin’ idea what to do. Here’s the sitch…
I applied to 5 schools, four of which I have heard back from, the last I wont know until June. All of which I applied for social work as my major, all schools far away from home (the closest being 6 hours away), and all schools I don’t give a rats ass about. I think I have ruled out 3 of the schools and I’m down to two choices. These were my 5 choices: CSU Humboldt, Portland State University, Eastern Washington University, Salem (Mass.) State University, and I still haven’t heard from University of Washington. I have narrowed it down to Humboldt and U of W. I officially accepted to Humboldt as like a back up school, but I don’t really know what I would do if I was accepted to U of W. My chances of that though are slim. I know freshman who had better grades and extra curricular activities than me who didn’t get in. It makes me think my chances are slim, but it was my “What the hell” school. 
The problem I have seem to found my self is I have now become aware of how lonely I will really be no matter where I go. I’ll be away from my family, my friends, Jude, and Victor. I’ve never been far away from Victor before, and quiet frankly its scary. I knew I would be away from my family and Jude, those were givens. My friends though, I didn’t really think about them. I don’t want to leave them yet. I’m also scared of leaving Jude, not because I don’t think he’ll be safe or whatever. Its really just because I don’t want to leave him. I don’t see him often, I know, but still I like knowing he’s only three or so hours away. Now, he will be at least 9 hours away:/
Is it fair to say I don’t want to make huge life decisions right now? I think I’ll become a college drop out, bum around Europe a while, and stalk Matt Smith and Daniel Radclift until one of them marry me (Or both in a perfect world). That should keep me there for a long time right? 

Monday, May 14, 2012

My Birth Mothers Day Outft

  • My adoption rocks t-shirt
  • My infinity necklace
  • My charm necklace
  • My adoption rocks livestrong-like bracelet
  • My juicy couture charm bracelet
All meaningful things to me that some how represent Jude and/or the adoption :)

Friday, May 11, 2012

Birth Mother's Day 2012

Tomorrow is my second birth mothers day ever and I couldn’t be more excited. I feel like Birth Mother’s day is really my day to celebrate the adoption. To celebrate the good choices I made and to be seen as some kind of mom. Mother’s day is not for me. Giving birth to a child doesn’t make some one a mother, its so much more than that. 
I really wanted to do something big for Birth Mothers day this year, but I sold my soul to school this quarter and am taking a 7 hour class on saturdays. Not only that, but I need to work after school. While the actually physical celebration wont take place that day, I will hold my head up high that day and be proud of who I am. I might celebrate in my own way. My job after school is house sitting for a nice couple with a dog, so maybe I will paint or draw.
So, to all my other birth moms out there, though it is early, Happy Birth Mother’s Day. You are all wonderful and unselfish women. Your birth children and adoptive parents are privileged and should be honored to have a part of you in their lives.