Friday, May 18, 2012

College....decisions, decisions, decisions

Well, here I am staring my future right in the face and I have no flippin’ idea what to do. Here’s the sitch…
I applied to 5 schools, four of which I have heard back from, the last I wont know until June. All of which I applied for social work as my major, all schools far away from home (the closest being 6 hours away), and all schools I don’t give a rats ass about. I think I have ruled out 3 of the schools and I’m down to two choices. These were my 5 choices: CSU Humboldt, Portland State University, Eastern Washington University, Salem (Mass.) State University, and I still haven’t heard from University of Washington. I have narrowed it down to Humboldt and U of W. I officially accepted to Humboldt as like a back up school, but I don’t really know what I would do if I was accepted to U of W. My chances of that though are slim. I know freshman who had better grades and extra curricular activities than me who didn’t get in. It makes me think my chances are slim, but it was my “What the hell” school. 
The problem I have seem to found my self is I have now become aware of how lonely I will really be no matter where I go. I’ll be away from my family, my friends, Jude, and Victor. I’ve never been far away from Victor before, and quiet frankly its scary. I knew I would be away from my family and Jude, those were givens. My friends though, I didn’t really think about them. I don’t want to leave them yet. I’m also scared of leaving Jude, not because I don’t think he’ll be safe or whatever. Its really just because I don’t want to leave him. I don’t see him often, I know, but still I like knowing he’s only three or so hours away. Now, he will be at least 9 hours away:/
Is it fair to say I don’t want to make huge life decisions right now? I think I’ll become a college drop out, bum around Europe a while, and stalk Matt Smith and Daniel Radclift until one of them marry me (Or both in a perfect world). That should keep me there for a long time right? 


  1. I think over the past 2 years you have had to make the most life changing decision in your life. I can totally understand being hesitant making another big decision. Are there no colleges near you? Maybe even one closer to Jude?
    I encourage you to read this blog
    the adoptive moms blog

    the birthmothers blog

    They have a really neat open adoption. Rebecca writes from the standpoint of a adoptee and adoptive mother- I think it would be a great resource for you when you consider what kind of work you want to do in the future.

    1. There are, I live in Silicon Valley and there are lots of colleges here, but very few offer my major. Plus, I think I need to go. I've always wanted to and was almost there, but then I got pregnant and had to move back home. As scared as I am, I need to go. Thank for the suggestions, I've started following them and can't wait to read more from them :)

  2. I see. I think I understand. I wish you the best. I am glad you are following them- they are great ladies who are doing great work for triad.