Saturday, March 3, 2012

Mother Wonder

So, in my last post I talked about the “What ifs” and said that the only thing I could possibly know about the future was what kind of mother I would be. Well, I have been thinking about that a lot lately for multiple reasons. One, my neighbor just had a baby a few days ago. Two, I’ve already started thinking about Jude’s birthday present. Three, I have a visit with Jude soon and that always makes me think of him more.
I thought I would share my views and thoughts on parenting with you lovely folks (because I know you all care so much). Really though, I’m doing this more for my self, so that when I’m like 30 and really do have my own kids, I can read this and either see that I stuck with my views or laugh at my younger naive self. 
Lets make some assumptions though because I have no REAL idea of how future me is going to be like. Lets assume that when I do have kids; I have no monetary limit and I have a supportive husband.
I know I need to buy things like a crib, changing table, a swing, a stroller, and a car seat. But I hate the idea of buying something that doesn’t grow with the child and after a year I would need to get rid of it because its too small. I personally think its stupid. I would buy as much as possible with the ability to grow with the child. I’m not sure if I would want a crib, but like a small bed with a fence around it or something. I’d use a dresser with one of those padding used in a changing table on top or the floor.
There was this company that I found that I loved called Stokke. They make products that grow with the child, like their bed is made for birth until 10 yrs. old. Their high chair is made to last all stages of life, birth until death. Amazing, cool, and expensive, but if that crib/bed would last me 10 years then its worth it. Anything I couldn’t buy that would grow with the baby, I would buy second hand stuff. There is a wonderful world of Goodwill and Salvation Army out there, why not use them to full advantage?
This covers everything from sleeping, eating, play time, scheduling, etc. I’m going to make this short and to the point because some of these we can go on and on about.
  • Sleep - Baby sleeping in its own space. No Co-sleeping what so ever. I toss and turn and sleep on top pillows and it would just be bad. 
  • Eating - Love meat, love veggies, love sugar, love fast food; In short I love food. I want to my children to love and experience food too. Not too much of the bad stuff and definitely try different cultures food
  • Crying - I’m a big believer in babies cry for no reason some times. Letting them cry it out sometimes is, in my mind, is ok. I mean I wouldn’t do this for twenty minutes, but for five is reasonable. If i’m doing something like taking out the trash or taking a shower and the baby starts crying. I finish taking the trash out and I finish washing what ever I was washing, then go get the baby. 
  • Scheduling - I want this baby/kid on a somewhat flexible schedule. I want it to become more strict as he/she gets older, but not too strict.
  • I am vaccinating my children.
  • C-section and drugs all the way when it comes to child birth.
  • I am sending them to day care, even if its for one day a week.
  • I want to be a stay at home mom while they are in preK-5th grade, then go back to work after that.
  • I will tell them, when their old enough and/or if Jude is in our lives, that Jude is their family and how he’s my birth son and all that.
  • I think I would use both cloth and disposable diapers.
Now this is all assuming I’m at an appropriate age to have a kid and all my ducks are in a row, so to speak. If I would have kept Jude or had another baby now, things would be totally different. I would just need to get by with whatever I can. I would have to work most of my day, buy everything second hand, and not have much help from Victor. There are too many factors to determine how I would be. I only know one thing that I would definitely do as a teen parent.
If I was teen or young adult, like I am now, I would give up EVERYTHING and ALMOST any thing that would be something a typical teenager would do. As far as I’m concerned, being a teenager is a privilege and a relatively new one at that. I lost the privilege to go out and drink, do drugs (if I ever did do any), go out with friends randomly, and other teenage things, the moment the second pink line appeared. You can’t have the lifestyle of a teenager and a mom symotantiously. 
I love kids and definitely want at least one more in the near future, but for now I’m happy with the life I’m living. Lets see if ten years from now, if I still accept these parenting views or not.
Authors Note: In the famous words of India Arie “Don’t be offended, this is all my opinion, ain’t nothin’ that I’m saying law”. In other words, nothing I say is fact just my opinion. If you don’t like what I’m saying, you can stop reading.

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